Dante’s Inferno, Fourth Circle: (Most) Yellow Cabs and Non-local gypsy cabs
I am pretty sure in Dante’s Inferno, the banished were allotted room for redemption. So join Beatrice and sing for these groups:
A special place is reserved for some members of two groups that manage to always make Nova go to the verge of supernova status (big difference between the two). That would be the majority of yellow cabs and non-local cabs that troll around neighborhoods that aren’t their turf. Why such harsh words for you? Let’s start with the hornets:
- F*ck you for not wanting to go past 125th street, and forcing me to hail you on the downtown lane to trap you into going uptown.
- Once in your vehicle, screw you for either:
- kicking me out because you don’t want to go uptown.
- sucking your teeth, cursing in [insert language], being disgruntled and driving angry for the entire ride up.
- abandoning me midway pretending the car broke down.
- here’s where Nova becomes Supernova: demanding a $5-10 tip for “going this far up”.
- While you’re busy screwing yourself, study a f*cking map of NY and accept that Inwood is in Manhattan and not the Bronx so NO you can’t charge me Bronx fees from the airport.
I wish you no harm, but do hope you enjoy your way back to the highway passing through a Latin neighborhood (that you find so scary).
Now for the Lincoln Town Cars: Let’s first clarify who I’m NOT talking about. I’m NOT talking about the cab service companies that have bases in the neighborhoods they drive in (or take customers to). These car service companies are a pleasure, and I’ll take them over a yellow cab ANY DAY and DO. I will even wait for you for twenty minutes to avoid a yellow cab and get a spacey car, and darling driver who is also a DJ as he plays music to your taste, needs no direction to your house and charges you fairly.
Here’s who DOES get thrown into the fourth circle. Non-local cabs that aren’t rooted in the neighborhood, who don’t know where the f*ck they are going, charge you much more than local cabs, are prejudice, and treat you like street garbage. So you 718#s, you non-WaHI zip code guys- don’t be in our streets if you really don’t want to be here and don’t want to take the local rate.
You bring out the worst in Nova. I gotta work on this, I know. But even if I learn how to better handle you, it doesn’t mean you don’t need some time pushing rocks in the fourth circle.
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As a Non-New York City native, I have discovered that giving these non-neighborhood cab drivers what I think is fair works. I often take the same routes and it is usually work related when I cab it, so this has only backfired 1-2 in my 3 years in NYC. I make no communication until the end of the ride and if you don’t like what I give you then go f*ck yourself. I got yelled at once for going from 120th/Morningside to 125th (had heavy sh*t to drop off) and was charged $12. B*tch please, it is a $6 minimum and you get a $1 tip. I said here is $7 have a nice day a$$hole – $12 my a$$ for 5-7 blocks.
I too adore and love the neighborhood cab companies who are endearing and seem to make the best of their jobs. My favorite is El Barrio in none other than El Barrio. Although the operator has her bad days, but as women we are all entitled to be snappy at work some days so I forgive her for the 1 out of 10 times she is b*tchy, the drivers are such a pleasure. If only I were loaded with cash, I would tip them even better just for the knowledge of the neighborhoods, as Nova mentioned, and for the tunes, windows cracked, smooth ride and fair prices.