Dante’s Inferno, Ninth Circle: Archie
Archie was the fluff of my comic book library. The girl in me came out to balance my X-men, Excalibur, etc…
So word has it that Archie will propose to Veronica. And I say screw you Archie of Riverdale.
Let this be slightly off topic, but the fires of Dante’s called for Archie to be thrown in. Now this is just media hype- Archie’s gang will always be timeless, the gals forever stuck as sixteen year olds with some mean C cups and seventies fashion swagger. This might not all play out. But Archie, here is your life if you marry Veronica in my little crystal ball: you will be p*ssy-whipped with a father-in-law complex, you will scramble to make up for the money and class you will never have, Veronica will be f*cking her yacht boys as she vacations on her own in the Mediterranean. Betty will be scarred by lost love, will realize the time she wasted in chasing a man (never do this. never) and move on as a fierce woman who you’ll lust, long and lament for as you realize that you were bedazzled by an ice-queen.
Now I’m not hating on Veronica. She has sense to play the field. But she lost points by being a hater on Betty. Betty, get over carrot-top. Let it be stated how couples who the entire world rallies against sometimes create very beautiful lives that work for them. Archie and Veronica might make a lovely couple. One never knows. But…
Freeze with your neck up to ice in the ninth circle, Archie.
