Salsa Doldrums
So now that you know some of the ins-and-outs of couple’s dance classes, let’s delve deeper into what I will now call the Salsa Saga. Partaking in your dance class with an instructor is just the icing on the cake. There is a hidden, even stranger world that is a part of couple’s dancing, and it’s the social hours that studios host where you’re supposed to practice.
Imagine it as training wheels for club life. You make a fool of yourself behind studio closed doors. Sounds somewhat benign, except that when you show up you’ll find that you’ll be an even bigger ass than you imagined, because the joint is run by intermediates and advanced.
It’s prom all over again. All the cool kids are near the DJ, spinning triple turns on two and twisting some mean Sussie Q’s, razor-sharp splits under the guy’s legs (I like that), and other crazy shit. The beginners and pre-intermediates and salsa-on-one morons like myself huddle by the door.
The first time I went to a social, I stared at everyone for 20 minutes, went to the hustle room, got more depressed, took Cy, and left. I’m hard headed, so I went again the following week along with my friend Bianca, and must have drank enough to have allowed myself to be invited to dance (which for me=a half a glass of wine). For some time the world was great, because I was just dancing. For whatever reason I felt the need to also pimp my friend Bianca, and told any man that approached me that Bianca liked to dance too, instructed them to do so on two like I’m some mother-hen or madam ensuring her proper education. Bianca is quite beautiful, and in a heartbeat she was swept away.
Ok, so let’s finish off the highlights for that night and why couple’s dancing is still weird: maybe it was the phase of the moon that night, but for some reason all the non-advanced students mustered the courage to drag themselves to the studio, inch closer to the DJ section and bust out their little routines (which is the same move over-and-over-and-over-and-over). Also for some reason, the advanced students decided to mingle with us. We were being swept away left and right. Here’s where I got bothered: I don’t like to be told by a strange four-foot man with an unbuttoned blouse that I am supposed to “slide my hand down my neck” as he turns me, or to “trace your hand down my back when I turn you”, or “ fan your hands on your head to frame your turns”. He eternally entered the fires of my Dante’s Inferno by telling me, “don’t flop your hands like that. You look like a bird trying to fly.” Oh F you m*therf*cker. That arm movement is my Orisha-channeling Grandma coursing through my bones and soul. You haven’t seen her with a Budlight in hand telling people that’s she an eagle. Anyhow, I’ll only let a few men speak to me like that, and you’ll know who you are by how I bat my eyes.
Last night was a devastating defeat to ego. At the social I thought I could be cute and wore heels, and found it’s much harder to dance with them. Some salsera I’ll be. They almost flung off twice, and so I refused to let men spin me. This led to horrible freezes on the dance floor where I refused to move. Bianca busted out some new dance shoes, and a strap snapped as she too tried to make a night of it. If you don’t know us, we’re the good looking girl that will run smack into a door.
My teacher asked me to dance and it would’ve made my night, until another girl showed interest in dancing with him too. I offered him up- I’m no charity case for no-one. But by the time the next song came on I already felt incredibly defeated, Cy came over, my teacher invited me again and it became one of the worst numbers I’ve ever danced. He basically told me so. I really hit rock-bottom when Boss Hog from the Dukes of Hazard asked me to dance. Now I don’t care how you look, my favorite dance partners are nerds. If you can dance and don’t stink, I’m yours. But alas, he fulfilled his image of Mad TV’s lower expectations (goodness forgive me, I gave you a chance and goodness bless you that you have the joy to do it) and I felt bodily violated by the experience.
Cy was half asleep by midnight- I can’t seem to get him to dance with classmates. As Bianca and I left the studio already dreading how stupid we’d feel in the morning, the female receptionist stopped us to tell us how beautiful and feminine we were in every sense. Yeah, well a lot good that does us on the dance floor. Next time we vow to wear burlap sacks to lower everyone’s expectations. For the time being… Because when we finally get it, we’re going to be hot. For now though, we’re in the salsa doldrums.
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Supportive environment is very important in learning to dance. You not suppose to do any of the hand tricks unless you are in a club, you ran out of money and would like to have a drink or just want the guy to ask you out LOL If you want to do it, that is a very different story, it feels great, helps connecting with your partner and inspires the leader. I used to dance with everyone I could but now I am very selective and make sure some friendly people and proficient dance partners will be where I am going to dance. It is a very cool “couple thing” you guys are doing. Let me know when is your next social and one supportive salsero you know might just show up.
I like the hand tricks and don’t believe in holding back in dancing. But I’d like to learn them first in class before trying them out for the first time at a practice dance in a crowd. It was more the messenger I didn’t like. Your story of partners makes me say that now you sound like our salsa teacher! After us beginners were so happy men asked us to dance and we told him with pride, he put his nose up and shook his head and said, “When you get better, you’ll be more selective with who you dance with…” We felt so cheap! All in all, it’s all good and fun. Will invite you to a social but you, my friend, are a king on two!
I enjoyed being pimped out during the very innocent social of good people, a range of dancers and fantastic music. The second social was free of charge so all walks of life entered. Unable to refuse a dance with all of the 50 year old+ men who approached me, by douche bag #3 I felt like a cheap trick who couldn’t help but to continue accepting offers and getting her fix which translated into “experience with different dancers.” I now see what both JP and the dance instructor mean by being selective. We will not make the same mistake again.
As beginners and perfectionists who do not take on challenges that we are not guaranteed to succeed in or perhaps the fear that we may never be amongst the gifted salseras, it is heart wrenching to see what we are not yet.
I think the necessary approach is that of actors or models or producers in L.A. We have to become arrogant and full of ourselves to convince ourselves that we are better than we are… the best. Hard to do when people are doing 40 spins into splits as Nova mentioned while we topple over after a double spin. Eventually this L.A. mindset should reflect our display on the dance floor. Or just plain old patience will do, but I am unable to find a patient bone in my body when it comes to this. We are in our element when we are dancing, so taking on a new form of dance and taking time to learn it is tough… especially when we have been taking lessons once a week for just about 2 months and expect to be recruited for the next national competition. Perhaps we have the L.A. state of mind and don’t even know it yet!
Big ups to all of you salseras out there! I appreciate your comments and recommendations regarding couples dancing. I had the pleasure of joining Nova and Bianca out last night for the social hour to practice our salsa moves. And I have to say that it is a great way to put your ego on a shelf. For if you let your ego run free, you may feel like a high school sitting at the sidelines of the gym waiting for someone to ask you to dance. If you put your ego in check, as I did last night, you begin to realize that social dances are a wonderfully, dare I say, natural form of human interaction. You can see so much chemistry and lack of chemistry between each being. It was great to get a chance to dance with multiple levels. Be aware some dancers come with an agenda, others are just there to have good time!