- activism
- anarchy
- apocalypse
- Athens
- bicycles
- birds
- books
- Buenos Aires
- clubs
- coffee
- couple's dancing
- Dante's Inferno
- demons
- drunks
- Dyckman
- economy
- film
- fire hydrants
- graffiti
- Greek diners
- gross factor
- Havana
- idling
- immigration
- Inwood
- Ioannina
- it's a man's world
- Miami
- New York City
- Nova Speaks
- Ode to...
- odyssey essentials
- olympians
- on the subway
- Outer Space
- paradise
- police
- press
- prostitution
- public space
- restaurants
- Rio
- salsa
- school
- Sicily
- sidewalks
- Sinvergüenza
- star trek
- star wars
- stores
- street cookie
- taxis
- trees
- twilight zone
- urban confessions
- Washington Heights
- zipcar
Darwinian Salsa
A little over a year ago, two unknowing souls embarked upon a journey into a universe whose name they thought was salsa. To the surprise of the two naive girls, that universe turned out to be prism of multi-verses. An innocent journey of couple’s dancing suddenly became an adventure down a rabbit hole.
Some universes are ruled by 1 dimension. The one that Bianca and Nova stumbled upon was on-2. They are still trying to figure out if its a hospitable place for them, or if they have been tricked into a heartless black hole.
Salsa on-2 seems to follow some type of weird evolutionary process. It’s evident as you pass by the different planets, with their abundance of species (The Topsy-Turveys, the Fred Astaires, etc, etc). But Bianca and Nova have recently stumbled upon something startling, something that goes a little further than “salsa characters”. It’s Darwinian Salsa. And there exists the Nietzschean “Superman”. Darwinian Salsa – continue reading …
The Lincoln Center Posse
The Lincoln Center area of NYC has a strong geriatric pose. One must be cognizant of this posse when invading their turf. Some tips include:
- Do not yell out how sore you are from last night’s whips and windmills. Didn’t get too many good looks on the foreign film line with that one. Actually, anyone who doesn’t on-2 wouldn’t get that I was referring to turn patterns.
- Do not argue with the 65 year old lady who watched the entire sub-titled movie with bronze-tinted sunglasses on who insists to you that the film was in black and white, when you clearly saw the film in color. Do not wait for her after the movie to continue the argument. You may be jumped in the bathroom.
- Do not expect to go too fast walking down the sidewalk. Embrace it and be patient. They made it this far, hats off.
- Dress it up a little bit lest you be a Raggedy-Anne in a sea of black and white tuxes, minks, full suits, etc.
- Only they can yell loud to hear one another if someone of their pack is hard of hearing. If you are loud, you are an unruly, rude youth without class.
- Mourn, seeing the crowd who is slowly invading their turf… Oh, what horror is raining down upon the Upper West Side!
Comments are off for The Lincoln Center Posse
Craig, darling…Don’t do it.
Craig Ferguson Fans and Fans of Nightime Odysseys:
I have not been up all that much but when I have been fortunate to hear the sultry voice of the Late, Late show I’m catching the warning signs of a changing relationship. Toying with the formula? Flirting with an earlier spot? Say it aint so!
- the stage is better lit. Turn down the lights! You’re ruining the mood. Don’t you get that for a lot of women you’re doing more than simple jokes? You know that! Look at how every woman melts in the chair during an interview.
- a skeleton side kick? Ok sorta of funny, but hopefully not because you think you need one like the other hosts use.
- More jingles for recurring skits?
- a shorter haircut (and not the longer, floppy, just-f*cked you teased hair?)
Just pointing out some of the obvious signs that are tampering with a formula.
Comments are off for Craig, darling...Don't do it.
Ideas for the Greek Markets
So Greece is in a state of unrest… What are some brilliant ways we can fix this problem?
- Start marketing frappes like you do Fage yogurt. This is an untapped market
that can rival the Dunkin Donuts brand. - Become lifestyle consultants on how the rest of us can: drink crazy amounts of instant coffee, smoke like chimneys, lather ourselves with olive oil (not sun screen) and soak up the sun, f*ck like porn stars, argue ’til the veins pop out of our heads and still have one of the highest life-expectancies in the world. Here are some no-brainers: siestas are good. Loving life is good. Sun and sea… eh we all can’t have it all but it helps.
- Become the next eco-gurus of Europe instead of one of its more infamous offenders.
- Reclaim your agricultural roots, feed yourself first and then export what you want.
- Keep working on your beautiful, neglected wines.
- Forget credit cards, the stock-market and all other non-tangible nonsense.
- Become a national consultant agency for how to strike, community organize and instill populations with a sense of advocacy.
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Medical Insurance for Salseras
There are certain hazards associated with dancing, and some particular ones that afflict the mambo dancer. As a follower, here are some medical claims we often have to file against some leaders:
- head concussions from being wonked on the head by an elbow. Usually when the guy is learning a new turn pattern.
- bruised toes, when heavy, manly shoes step forcefully down on bare, feminine feet in stilettos.
- black eyes again from those chaotic elbows
- perpetual threat of dislocated shoulders from the whip or windmill
- perpetual threat of a broken wrist or arm from just about any turn
- olfactory distress from constant exposure to body odor
- chaffed hands from excessive need to use hand sanitizer (when you practice “safe-salsa”).
- pulled hair (when it gets caught on a watch)
- scratched hands (when a turns go wrong)
- body bruises in general if you have the misfortune of being dropped, slammed into a mirror or nearby couple
Miss anything? How about complaints from the Salsero end?
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