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It’s Still a Salsa Universe with Salsa Characters

Nova’s back with some salsa characters. She’s found a hot breeding ground for some interesting folks.

Shoe Brush Stealer

There is no comedy or wit in this character. To the guy who borrowed my shoe brush and never returned it, poo-poo to you.

Let’s Make Love…

Those last three periods of his name are essential in understanding this character, because that’s how he leads. You feel the dance starting out slow, as it typically does as partners feel eachother’s level and pizazz out… but then it’s one minute into a song that’s pounding away and this guy’s leading you like it’s a ballet. You don’t know what to do… Wasn’t this a quick 3 minute fling? You begin to blush as you understand, too late, that this is a salsa character who’s Westley the Farm Boy, not the Man in Black Dread Pirate Roberts you fantasized he would be in the dance (Princess Bride, people).  And he’s just made salsa love to you without you knowing it. By the time you realize this, you leave the dance full of shame at the vulgarity of  how you tried to do a licentious hip swivel when the poor guy was just interested in a soft brush of his hand across your back in a cross-body-lead.

Projectile Missile

Quick, duck! If you suddenly see objects shoot across the room, take cover. There is a Projectile Missile on the loose. And 95% of the time they are ladies. I myself was recently called out. A salsera has to select her outfit most carefully, as all those cutesy accessories we like to walk around in become weapons of mass destruction on the dance floor. Bracelets, pony tail holders, necklaces, earrings, and the nuclear bombs that men tend to dance with, cell phones. So if you see someone looking a little too shiny in their bling or someone who is a little too heavy in their pockets, it might be best to carve out another niche on the dance floor.

Salsa Dummy

All followers are this character to a certain degree. This is when you become lab rats for leaders to experiment their clever turn patterns on. It’s a no win situation, ladies. If you don’t do it, leads don’t get better and like it or not, your enjoyment of the dance is largely in their hands.

Get Another Hobby

thanks to JPLogan for pointing these guys out. These are the “Don’t Care” characters who have been dancing for so many years and show absolutely no desire to dance anymore. They don’t look at the girl, they barely lead, they barely do anything! Yet because they are so trained in the count, and because they have spent all their free time learning turn patterns and the latest shines, still they come like sad robots to socials to execute their programs.

Salsa characters of the past…

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