Our Urban Odyssey » apocalypse

Who knew? An anti-air conditioner book

Nova — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 23:02:37 +0000

Here at Our Urban Odyssey we’ve thrown air conditioners into Dante’s Inferno for similar reasons. Haven’t read this book, but happy to see one devoted to the topic.

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Lord of the Frappes

Nova — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 21:33:20 +0000

If the link doesn’t work, click http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaHb8grTIUk

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Inwood Crop Circles

Nova — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 01:49:06 +0000

In a fenced-off field of grass and other green things, there are patches of shiny grass that has been flattened.

Is this a growing technique of Parks and Rec?

Is this is a particular species of green?

Are people laying in these areas?

Have the aliens landed in Inwood? Is the grass shiny from the metal rub of a spaceship bottom?

Theories, please….

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Coming to a future near you… Terminator

Nova — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 04:00:01 +0000

Well thanks to the NY Times reading SkateDiva, I have one more theory to add to apocalypse worries. Singularity! At first I thought she was directing me to an article on on in-coming black hole. Or that one was created with the The Large Hadron Collider. this one seems to be about building a brand new robot species. Google is apparently one huge brain that keeps growing and growing the more we use it.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/13/business/13sing.html

Yes, yes, we’ve heard it before… perhaps its inevitable. Perhaps this timeline will never get a chance to happen because the earth will suddenly stop “living” with this oil spill because it turns out all that oil serves some sort of purpose for its rotation, winds, cloud formation, etc. The future is just so interesting to think about.

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Guess who’s back?

Nova — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 01:55:28 +0000

Those who followed the Elusive White Tiger hunting in an abandoned lot in Inwood, which then became a blog on a Scorched Earth policy here that turned the lot (and hunting grounds) to a wasteland, will be happy to know that the grass grew back and…. the tiger is back, still hunting! See that white dot in the back? That’s the tiger walking ever so stealthy through a jungle.

Who knows what our little tiger ate while the earth was poisoned? Who knows what our little tiger is eating NOW from a poisoned earth…! What kind of crazy toxins are in those deceptively green everglades? How long before Thanos comes back with his ghostbuster’s toxin backpack for another scorched earth wave?

Despite this, the hunt continues.

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Washington D.C. as the Alien Landing Site

Nova — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 02:35:46 +0000

DC is a nice place to see… Royal looking buildings that convey power, order and authority, museums that are testament to national identity, and long stretches of land with ancient Egyptian-looking monuments that give me the haunting feeling that really, the place is one elaborate landing site for aliens. On a recent Urban Odyssey there, I could not shake that so much of the air waves were probably soaked with chitter-chatter of messages from this branch of the government to that… How much scrambling of info must go on, how many spies must be lurking around? Would my DNA be altered by a stay there? DC is truly a great place to visit for those with a great imagination, sense of history and appetite for power.

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Bad year for New York City Trees

Nova — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 00:43:13 +0000

As we weather another storm, I pass by yet more fallen trees. On Dyckman street, a tree branch (or tree- visibility was that bad) squashed a car. Newly budding branches enticed by the first warm breath of Spring are splayed out in pieces on the sidewalks. Was this a bad year for the NYC tree? We had the strange Upper West Side tornado that spun through the park like it was Oz, we had a winter wonderland of majestically ice-coated trees that crumbled down along the 5th avenue sidewalk of the Upper East Side… It just seems like trees took a real beating this year.

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War of the Worlds

Nova — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 16:53:51 +0000

So here’s the apocalyptic side to “a festival of lights”. So it’s fine and dandy to witness the glories of the cosmos (like the recent Geminids meteor shower) and have near religious experiences in the process. Here’s what f*cks with your head either as a series of coincidences accompanying the shower, or the government trying to subtly tell you something:

The Syfy (Scifi) channel or some channel was showing back to back movies about alien invasions. I couldn’t help but watch “War of the Worlds” which turned out to be a very, very bad idea. The remake of War of the Worlds plays on pretty much every fear you could have: alien ship attacks, alien robot attacks, air planes going down, drowning in cars, Titanic-like boat going down, aliens that incinerate you indiscriminately, aliens that capture you and put you in a metal farmers’ market basket until they are ready to thrust their tentacle through you and suck out all of your blood, human kind’s extermination, mob hysteria, loosing your child, apocalypse. For those who didn’t see the new War of the Worlds: the aliens arrive in a stream of lightening bolts from the sky. So I couldn’t help but have a lump in my throat while watching the Geminids meteor shower.
Also, for some reason, the powers that be seem to be testing the “Emergency Alert System” out. A lot. You know, that horrible nuclear bomb alert sound followed by, “This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast system. If this had been an actual emergency…” Those who saw War of the Worlds will know that this same message was being broadcasted during the alien invasion, saying “this is a TEST of the emergency broadcast system”–a test– even though it was sure damn well past an emergency. This test was playing on my TV upon my return of watching the Geminids meteor shower. These series of events are a great way to become an insomniac, but I don’t know if I was scared or more annoyed by the fact that the announcement said “this is a test of New Jersey’s emergency broadcast system”. New Jersey? I’m not in New Jersey! Are you telling me that in the event of an emergency Inwoodites are screwed because Manhattan forgets we exist and New Jersey is calling us theirs even though there is a freakin river between us? Inwoodites better start building rafts and canoes because it looks like we will be screwed.
The Hadron seems to be up and running again.

The broadcast alerts are still going on… Just when War of the Worlds was receding from my mind a day later, as I dozed off with a smile on my face listening to Craig Furgeson, suddenly, in the middle of one of his jokes, the horrible nuclear bomb alert sound blasted like a siren with a “test” message. Success in finding a sound that will jerk anyone out of a soundful sleep.

So take it as fiction and believe what you will. The arts are a great way to send mass messages to people: either to have us buy something, to act a certain way, to serve as a mirror for our fears and desires, or to subtly prepare us for an alien invasion.

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End time tools are up again

Nova — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:32:25 +0000

The Large Hadron Collider has started up again. Watchers: Start logging any anomalies you encounter: rips in time, premonitions of doom (or the return of paradise), aliens, formations of star gates, etc.

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Mission: Space

Nova — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 04:07:38 +0000

Wannabe Astronauts, Trekkies, and Nova-sympathizers, listen up: If you want the thrill of your life and don’t have millions of dollars or the balls for the real thing, Mission: Space should be your pilgrimage in life. It might very well be the closest thing you’ll have to a real space odyssey. A spiritually uplifting moment (to make up from the tears of joy shed on the Silver Golf Ball, to be blogged about soon) that I can only describe as a mind-f*ck if it wasn’t real and I didn’t really go to Mars.

The staff all have space uniforms. You’re given a choice of baby trip or full throttle experience from lift off to landing. Scared sh*tless, I choose the real thing. You go through a briefing (shut up who cares that I was screaming in glee and the 8 year old kid next to me was unphased). You are given an assignment in the ship (engineer, pilot, navigator, and something else). I won’t tell you my disappointment on being navigator since I can’t even drive a car and am told I fail even as co-pilot. Then you’re strapped in a space pod (claustrophobia be damned because you are trapped in that sh*t until the ride is over) with your three companions and BOOOOOOOOOOM. You watch a screen that f ing convinces you that you are lifting off, and you are stuck to your seat unable to move from the force. Apparently you are in a centrifuge but the screen tricks your body that you are where your eyes tell you.

Apologies for screaming Mother F*cker with that 8 year old engineer next to me (who might have been choking in his own vomit from the sound of it). The computer gives you prompts as to when you are supposed to push specific buttons for the ship to work. I made sure to yell to the 8 year old engineer to make sure he knew what to do.

I had two tasks- hitting thrusters to use the moon’s gravitational force to pivot to Mars, and then I think to redirect the ship to avoid an asteroid… I completed the first task…. but failed the second. I can’t tell you how traumatized I am from that. And here’s the other kicker. When we f ing finally crash landed the ride was over, leaving us… ON MARS! HOW CAN THEY DO THAT after convincing us it was real?

Mission:Space. If I’m ever lost, look for me on Mars. I’m somewhat convinced Disney left me there in their own Martian version of Disney World.

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