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When the Holy (Salsa) Spirit Leaves You… And Returns
Bianca and Nova have been in a bit of a salsa rut this past month. Not so much in sucking, but low in the spirit that beckons you to the dance floor and takes over your body with a partner. Which reminds me of Star Trek, The Next Generation Episode 166 when Doctor Crusher was regularly visited by an alien ghost that entered her body, and well, did delightful things to her from the inside out. But I digress slightly off topic.
The Holy Salsa Spirit had left us and I was prepared to lodge a complaint in the lost and found department of salsa dancing or go to a salsa church, consult the salsa priest, or perhaps consider giving up some of it (to an addict that means trimming down from three classes to one, plus going out once a week instead of maybe three), and whine here on this blog.
BUT THE HOLY SALSA SPIRIT HATH RETURNED. When the Holy (Salsa) Spirit Leaves You… And Returns – continue reading …
And the list keeps growing… more salsa characters
Some more salsa faces to meet, plus the ghosts of past…
The Rumba Sharks:
These guys take a page straight out of West Side Story in how they enter a room. They are near and dear to my heart. These are the fellas who have some mean rumba moves that remind you of our glorious African roots, whether in our blood or in the dance we love. They come onto the dance floor in a group. The DJ, sensing their presence, plays a salsa song with a heavy rumba intro. They spread out in a line, crouch down a little bit lower than the ballroom salseros and execute some “Cubans” with flair… Some of these guys are so damn good, you’ll swear you see a cigar in their mouths for a split second during a turn. Don’t question it. When you get to be that good of a dancer, you’re bound to conjure an orisha. Feel blessed you had them as a partner.
Other Dimension: 
These are the dance partners who you’ve seen dance some mean dances with other partners, who know all the steps, shines and turns and leave their partner with a smile. When it comes to you though, nothing freaking works. You can’t catch the count together, turns go wrong, hands don’t meet in time- the two of you are like one huge cosmic collision. Each of you question each other’s dancing abilities, and yet… you swear they were good with so-and-so. My friends, don’t fight it. You’ve met someone who exists in a slightly other dimension than you. Something is off with your vibrating string, or whatever it is that makes our on-2 souls tick. Most of the time you give up on them, and it’s a good idea lest some rip in the time-continuum happen because you two were never meant to touch. I have met some diligent Other Dimensions that insist on making it work. Sometimes there is improvement, but you always know something is off.
The Fan:
Like a sports fanatic, these partners always wear something on-2 or salsa related. They speak, breath and live salsa. I know you think this is most of us who are crazy enough to write or read a series on salsa characters, but these guys go just a little further. Some don’t even dance! Like the guys painted up at a sports game, The Fan goes to the same extreme. Just know that sometimes it is an advertisement for a very good product, and sometimes, sigh, that don’t have the goods to back their billboard up.
The Jedi Master:
Taken from my one and only Jimmy Anton experience that I am still getting over, the Jedi Master is the male equivalent of Scissors. They have found the holy grail of dancing on-2, can predict the count before it comes (which is pretty pathetic for the rest of us, given that the count is in order, is 6 digits long and repeats over and over until the end of the song). Sometimes they are your teacher, but often not. They guide you like a gentle teacher, they give you tips. Sometimes they look like Yoda. Your only objective in a dance with them is to try and absorb some of their Jedi wisdom before the dance is over and they move onto another disciple. Sometimes they have individual Jedi names, like Obi-Wan-on2. Not to be confused with… some hood trying to jump you. And the list keeps growing… more salsa characters – continue reading …
The real Godfather of the PR Day Parade
Inwood, Manhattan, NYC 2010
This little grandpa doesn’t let age stop his Schwinn Bike Club need. He rolls around Inwood in his PR-pimped quadricycle blasting salsa classics and tooting a horn.
Darwinian Salsa
A little over a year ago, two unknowing souls embarked upon a journey into a universe whose name they thought was salsa. To the surprise of the two naive girls, that universe turned out to be prism of multi-verses. An innocent journey of couple’s dancing suddenly became an adventure down a rabbit hole.
Some universes are ruled by 1 dimension. The one that Bianca and Nova stumbled upon was on-2. They are still trying to figure out if its a hospitable place for them, or if they have been tricked into a heartless black hole.
Salsa on-2 seems to follow some type of weird evolutionary process. It’s evident as you pass by the different planets, with their abundance of species (The Topsy-Turveys, the Fred Astaires, etc, etc). But Bianca and Nova have recently stumbled upon something startling, something that goes a little further than “salsa characters”. It’s Darwinian Salsa. And there exists the Nietzschean “Superman”. Darwinian Salsa – continue reading …
Medical Insurance for Salseras
There are certain hazards associated with dancing, and some particular ones that afflict the mambo dancer. As a follower, here are some medical claims we often have to file against some leaders:
- head concussions from being wonked on the head by an elbow. Usually when the guy is learning a new turn pattern.
- bruised toes, when heavy, manly shoes step forcefully down on bare, feminine feet in stilettos.
- black eyes again from those chaotic elbows
- perpetual threat of dislocated shoulders from the whip or windmill
- perpetual threat of a broken wrist or arm from just about any turn
- olfactory distress from constant exposure to body odor
- chaffed hands from excessive need to use hand sanitizer (when you practice “safe-salsa”).
- pulled hair (when it gets caught on a watch)
- scratched hands (when a turns go wrong)
- body bruises in general if you have the misfortune of being dropped, slammed into a mirror or nearby couple
Miss anything? How about complaints from the Salsero end?
Watch out WaHI, I’m starting a Schwinn Bike Club
What’s a Nova to do. Can’t drive a car. Can’t ride a motorcycle… Live in the North Pole of Manhattan and it’s tricky to move around….
I’ll start a Schwinn Bike Club.
I’ve seen one old school PR blessing the streets with his pimped out tricycle so I know there are some people up here who’ll understand. Perhaps I can start an on-2 cult up here if I blast salsa from its trunk.
Perhaps I am delirious from the first days of Spring and I’ve been sniffing too many Easter Hyacinths. But it’s that or I join a motorcycle gang.
Salsa Characters
More salsa characters:
The Bulldozer
This is the guy who will knock you into every single couple in your dancing radius. Forgetting that leading is also spotting for the little top in heels that you are spinning left and right, Bulldozers will charge you through the dance floor without any control or regard for those around you. Identify them quick and early on in a dance ladies, so you know to tighten your steps and focus on what’s around you. The dance will probably be lame because you won’t be free, but your objective in dancing with a Bulldozer is to finish the dance in one piece to move on to a Fred-Astaire. Bulldozers are cousins of Topsy-Turveys (keep reading).
Columbo
Salsa dancing is very much like wearing a mask over our every day lives. When we hit the dance floor, we are simply salseras and salseros. Sometimes though we wear evidence of our outside lives that our partners pick up on during a dance that make a person go, hmmmm…. The worn hands: hardened with callouses, dirt under the fingernails not from neglect but from labor, the scratches and scars. And the muscular arms that go with them. The t-shirt from a company or product. And sometimes it’s the work clothes and equipment you bring to the class or a social discarded in the corner. It brings out the Columbo in you, so we’ll call the salsera/os that inspire this Columbo. Some things are better left unasked. Enjoy the dance.
Shy-But-Why
These are the dancers who are diamonds in the rough. They have a salsa soul but doubt their Jedi powers. They come as leads and followers. If you spot one, it is your duty to guide them to the dance floor and help them overcome the cloud over their salsa brilliance.
Ghosts of Past: Salsa Characters – continue reading …
Out with it. I dance on 2!
Part of Urban Confessions Week
Those in the confessional:
Nova is making a guilt-free declaration: She dances “on-two”, mambo style and makes no apologies. No, dears, it isn’t snobbery, I’m not part of the gang taking salsa away from its Nuyorican streets and “legitimizing” it in ballrooms with white academics. Dancing “on two” is a practice of cultural preservation of a distinct style of salsa dancing. It fits me like a glove, fills me with a joy of living, and does the same for others too. And practicing a certain form of salsa dancing sort of makes it an exciting hobby.
Does being an on2 dancer make it harder to spontaneously go out and be able to express your adopted art form? Sure… so you try to learn to manage to celebrate salsa’s other forms. But in your heart you ache… you can’t become one with that second explosive beat that drums along with your heart.
And for all you non-counters out there that think the passion of music is lost in numbers… it can be said that numbers are the fabric of everything- we forget or don’t realize this because numbers speak in different languages. And, as JPLogan so astutely pointed out to me one salsa night, the biggest counters are the ones making salsa itself: the musicians! Does this mean you need to go out and buy an abacus to bring along with you to the dance floor? No… after awhile the numbers are dressed differently, sort of like when you stop “translating” a foreign language slowly in your head after you have a fundamental command of it.
So take those salsa shoes out of the closet, get to Iguana, a social, whatever floats your boat and when the music starts, if you’re a lady, step out with the right on one, a man, break back with the left. Doesn’t that feel good?
For more about this, visit: salsanewyork.com
Salsa Characters- there’re more!
Back by popular demand, and an ever-expanding knowledge base of the people you encounter while salsa dancing, it’s some new additions to SALSA CHARACTERS. The original characters are also on this list. Keep submitting them!
Mambobot: Idea submitted by JPLogan. Oh it is painful how many of these there are… The salsa folk who dance like the letters off a class syllabus. They execute moves in exactly the same manner without individual flair. Unfortunately you’ll see plenty of this at the congresses. Not to be confused with, Have No Rhythm, Don’t Count, Don’t Care.
The Throwback: Whip out the toupee, 70’s bells, ruffled tux, and a pair of aviator shades. With low lights it’s hard to spot this aging Salsero. He’s probably been dancing since salsa’s birth, and has the entire Fania record collection at home. This doesn’t stop him from coming out at night, bless his dancing heart. One way to identify this character is to examine the smile he’ll flash you during a rumba move- those perfectly shaped shiny bright teeth are probably grandpa’s dentures.
The Leper: Anyone who has unidentified body odors, marks, or open wounds is a bio-hazard to a fellow dancer! Usually you discover the identity of this character way too late (like when the doctor is diagnosing you with some rare hand disease that is only transmitted from 3 minutes of palm-to-palm hand holding). It’s hard to be a salsa dancer in the age of swine flu. Perhaps that’s why we dance with dimmed lights.
The Tease: Submitted by JPLogan. Usually a female (sorry girls, but it’s true) but some men also play this game; this is the salsa dancer that will give you some major “I want you off the dance floor ” signals, but will leave you stone cold on the dance floor, laughing at you like a shrew. Categorizing someone with this name is very risky- sensual does not equal tease (it is dancing, after all). But if your dance partner whispers sweet nothings in your ear, unleashes heavy winks or gives you some x-ray vision stares across the dance floor, beware! This salsa character might leave your head spinning long after your turn patterns are over.
Ghosts of past… Salsa Characters- there’re more! – continue reading …
you know it’s bad
when a dog is a better salsa dancer than you are.
Nova odysseys in the salsa universe have not been inspiring. Bianca can unfortunately contend. The tools are laid out in front of you, the universe explodes in a canvas of notes that you know you ought to swim through. You know a state of union with the salsa universe exists, and wants you to join it. But it is like surfing and trying to catch the 5-6-7 wave. You have to be a Fred Astaire with your feet, conjure the orishas with body convulsions, be Sasha Cohen in your spins, and be a Jenny from the Block with attitude. And what do you get if you try to be all these things? Frankenstein! I still believe it comes from the heart, that this celebration comes from your soul. And it is a matter of training your body to honor it. Ah, Salsa.
